god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
