Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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