you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
