Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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