pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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