My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
