Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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