Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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