At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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