I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
