Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
