Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
