the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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