ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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