Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
