I think my vagina is haunted
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
