if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
