Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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