How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Nicole vs. Life
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize