The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
