Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
