that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
