i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
