I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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