Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
