Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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