I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
