You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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