I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
false alarm. still invincible.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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