just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
