plz talk dirty to me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
