I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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