she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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