i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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