I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
