How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
