So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
