somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
