Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
