well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
