Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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