i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
