Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
