is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you win again, gameday.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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