I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
