Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
