I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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