You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
