Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize