You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
