Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
