my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
