Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
