So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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