You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
