My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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