I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
