I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
