Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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