i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
