If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
