matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You are a genius and a whore.
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