Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
